After All These Years
by vausesandspanishharlem
Summary: Nicky and Lorna were torn apart at the end of the riot, but meet up again years later. Nichorello with a little child, songfic! The finale broke me so I had to write this. Spoilers for season 5!


**Thank you for beta'ing, A Star In My Universe!**

It's been so long since the Litchfield riot ended and everything had gone to shit. Nicky doesn't even remember how many years passed by, but right after she was released, she moved in with Red in a small two bedroom apartment in Queens. They'd tried to find their other fellow inmates that were on the buses, but no one would tell them anything. They'd write letters, but didn't know where to send them to. Nicky always thinks about her long lost friend, sometimes lover, Lorna Morello. She hopes nothing had happened to the small Italian or her baby, and that they're both happy and healthy.

When she goes through one of the racks in the large mall for her first set of new clothes, a small child runs out and a skirt slides off her tiny face, messing up her brunette locks. "Whoa, kid...are you lost?" Nicky searches around for a worried-looking adult, but finds nobody. The girl's chin quivers and she starts to whimper a bit while sucking her thumb. "Oh no, don't cry...please, anything but that," Nicky mutters to herself while kneeling down to the little one's level.

"I can't find my mommy!"

"I'll help you...uh, where did you last see her? What does she look like?"

"Right here...she has brown curly hair, she always wears lipstick, and she's wearing a pretty dress."

"Okay, let's look around...I'm not sure where to start." There are many women with this description, but most of them are in jeans and a top. "Why don't you start shouting her name or something?"

"Mommy! Mommy, where are you?" the kid calls out. Nicky makes sure that the toddler is always in her line of sight.

"Nicky? Oh, there you are!" a recognizable accented voice cries, and it's none other than Lorna. Nicky's breath catches and her heart skips a few beats upon seeing the woman she was head over heels for-actually, she'd never gotten over Lorna. She feels tears pricking at the corners of her eyes and gulps down the lump in her throat. She remembers how their first kiss ended in heartbreak. Lorna will never be anything more than a friend to Nicky, even if they do reconnect. Their last goodbye before the SWAT guys forced Lorna outside seemed so final and it really showed that Nicky and Lorna weren't meant to be. Nicky would rather have Lorna and her daughter be safe than reciprocate her love. It does surprise her, though, that Lorna named her child after her. This person may not even be Lorna.

 _Well, here we are again_  
 _I guess it must be fate_  
 _We've tried it on our own_  
 _But deep inside we've known_  
 _We'd be back to set things straight_  
 _I still remember when your kiss was so brand new_  
 _Every memory repeats_  
 _Every step I take retreats_  
 _Every journey always brings me back to you_

Little Nicky runs to her mother and hugs her legs tightly. "Honey, I told ya to stay with Mommy! Why'd ya run away, ya silly goose, huh?" Lorna is asking while scooping up her daughter and kissing the top of her head. "Goodness, you're so squirmy!" She places Little Nicky into a stroller and straps her in.

"Sorry, Mama..."

Lorna glances up once she's standing in front of the stroller, and her eyes go wide and fill with tears. "It's you, baby...oh my god..." She slowly walks up to Nicky while sniffling and they hug each other tightly. "I was sure I'd never see you again!"

 _After all the stops and starts_  
 _We keep comin' back to these two hearts_  
 _Two angels who've been rescued from the fall_  
 _After all that we've been through_  
 _It all comes down to me and you_  
 _I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all_

"Whoa, besides being out of the prison garb with longer hair, you really haven't changed," Nicky points out as she lets go of Lorna, her hands still cupping the shorter lady's elbows.

"Neither have you. How you been?"

"Since I got out of prison a few hours ago, fantastic! When did you finish your sentence?"

Lorna smiles while tucking her hair behind her ear. "Oh, about a month ago."

"I thought for sure you'd call your kid _Lasagna_ ," Nicky blurts out before she can stop the words from leaving her mouth.

"No, I wouldn't name her after a meal, even if I tell her I could just eat her up with how adorable she is! You were right...my cherub turned out fine, thanks to Vinnie! She's an angel, truly. Her favorite food is _pasketti_. You should see a picture! Hold on..." She plucks her wallet out of her purse, opens it with one hand, and shows Nicky a photo of her daughter with orange sauce around her mouth and a meatball in a pile of noodles on her head. It causes Nicky to burst out laughing. "Cute, huh?"

"It sure is, until you realize you gotta clean her up!"

"Yeah, but it's worth it!"

"Besides that, how's motherhood treatin' ya?"

"Oh, no complaints at all! She's such a good girl, honestly." They only pull apart when little Nicky begins wailing. "She doesn't like being ignored, though." Lorna rushes to her daughter and quiets her down with cooing sounds. She pulls little Nicky out of her stroller and bounces her in her arms.

"She has your eyes."

Lorna beams proudly. "She does, huh? She's also the shortest in her preschool class. I always take her, even if Vinnie insists. I don't trust any of those sluts, especially the single ones."

Nicky folds her arms across her chest. "He's really back in your life, huh?" she asks, pretending to know nothing.

"Mm-hm! He always says he loves me and he shows it."

"That's wonderful. Uh, well...I better get going."

"No, uh...you don't have to. We can shop together!"

"Okay, then."

 _When love is truly right_

 _(This time it's truly right)_  
 _It lives from year to year_  
 _It changes as it goes_  
 _Oh, and on the way it grows_  
 _But it never disappears_

It hurts. It hurts like a knife twisting its way into her heart, but Nicky's happy for Lorna. She finally has the life she's always wanted. While Vinnie is at work, Lorna settles into a sort of routine-she takes her child to the park for lunch and ice cream and Nicky is always invited, so she joins them. They catch each other up on their lives-when she gets a break, Lorna does yoga under the instruction of their favorite teacher, Jones, with Flaca, Maritza, and Anita, and after Red pulled some strings, Nicky and Alex have both just gotten interviews for their first jobs ever at a record store.

Lorna squeals after hearing the news. "Congratulations! I hope you'll be hired!"

"Yeah, same...so, did hear that Daya finally got out of Max? Suzanne told Gloria that Maureen, her girlfriend, ex, whatever...pumped oxygen into that guard's IV, so technically, _she_ killed him, not Daya!"

"Wow! That's great...I'd always admired her artwork. Our daughters are gonna be such good friends! Nicky's already warming up to Pepa. You know, tonight, Vinnie and I are going on a triple date with Maria, Blanca, and their boyfriends. We haven't gone out in so long. Do you mind babysitting?"

"Not at all."

"Are you sure? You despise children...sorry, I shouldn't have asked..."

"Lorna, you're my best friend, I'd do anything for you! I only said that way before you got pregnant because yes, all those screamin' kids were making my ears ring. Your daughter's actually sweet. It doesn't shock me, since you're her mom and all."

"Well, then, thank you. I really appreciate it."

 _After all the stops and starts_  
 _We keep comin' back to these two hearts_  
 _Two angels who've been rescued from the fall_  
 _After all that we've been through_  
 _It all comes down to me and you_  
 _I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all_

Over the months, Nicky's really bonding with Lorna's kid, so much that she's like an auntie now. She and Lorna are close enough for Vinnie to get jealous, and Lorna doesn't even notice that he's out late at night. They relax in front of the television and Lorna rests in Nicky's embrace, with the child playing on the floor. Lorna takes a shaky breath in and out as a tear slides down her cheek.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Nicky wonders aloud softly while stroking her hair.

"Vinnie got real mad at me...it's all my shrink's fault, though...they recommended I tell him why I was arrested in the first place for honesty reasons...so I did, but he...he just blew up. It was when Nicky was having a rough night, too, so I had to put her back to sleep for the fifth time. She kept crying...she just wouldn't stop...and I told him to shut his trap, but he didn't listen...he said a prison friend of mine told him long ago to accept my craziness, but he just can't anymore. Why can you?"

"I'm sorry to say this, kid, but he's a jerk who fell out of love with you. I guess I just look past it...because I've done some pretty messed up stuff, too. I met you in _prison_ , for God's sake! Look, if he wants to walk away, let him. It's not like you'll be a single mother...I'll be here, our friends and Red can help out, and you two would get shared custody, I'm assuming."

"He never wants to see me again and he's gonna take her away from me...he thinks I'm a danger to Nicky off my meds, which I very much doubt I am, but I never miss a dose!"

"I knew you when you weren't receiving treatment, and you were harmless. That husband of yours is an idiot and we'll get a lawyer if he tries to keep you from your baby! He doesn't get that you're a great girl, Lorna."

"Yeah, but you do, which makes you absolutely perfect."

 _Always just beyond my touch_  
 _You know I needed you so much_  
 _After all, what else is livin' for?_

Nicky smiles at Lorna's words and hugs the smaller woman closer to her while kissing the top of her head. "So...I got somethin' to confess."

"Yeah?"

"I...I never forgot you."

"I didn't either."

"I wrote something, in case we met up again." Nicky pulls her love note for Lorna out of her pocket and hands it to her.

"So did I," Lorna says quietly as her eyes scan over the piece of paper. "My sweet Lorna," she begins reading out loud, "This is kinda gonna get sappy, but you're special. You know I'm in love with you and I'd take a fuckin' bullet for you. That's why I told you to go the safest route and not with me in the bunker. I wanted you to have the life you'd always wished for-a simple, domestic one with your husband and baby. Your dreams are much more important than mine. I really hope you're still alive and you and your little one are safe, wherever you both are. Vinnie better treat you right. If he doesn't, find someone who will. You'll always be in my heart, baby. Love, Nicky." The brunette turns to the blonde while sniffling with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Nicky..."

"I wrote a lot more like that, but you don't need to go through 'em all."

"I will, sometime. I'm gonna show you mine! I hid 'em so Vinnie wouldn't think I was cheating on him."

"Technically, you were," Nicky tells Lorna as the petite woman rolls off the couch and scrambles to her bathroom.

"He never looks in my tampon box," Lorna murmurs as she returns to where Nicky is. "Here!" She brushes a tear off her cheek.

Nicky reads Lorna's note to herself silently and feels the lump in her throat get bigger as the seconds pass.

 _Nicky,_

 _I'm so sorry I hurt you, hon. So many times, I completely fucked up...but I'm doing better, I've been taking antipsychotics. It turns out I got erotomania-who would've thought? Eh, at least the pills made me realize something. I was in love with the idea of being with a man and having a child with him and staying at home while he goes to work like some fifties housewife. That was just an idea, though. That was my head, my mental illness talking...not my heart. Oh no, my heart belongs to someone else-you...and I only realized that in my new prison where they got better mental health care and the best therapists. I really wish you were here, holding me like you used to do. I miss you so much...I'm crying and I don't think I can do this without you. It's not just the hugs like we're friends...it's also the kissing and touching...caressing my worries away...and making me feel like I deserve love in my life. You showed me romance...and I never saw it until it was too late. I will never forgive myself for that._ _I love you, Nicky Nichols. I only went out with Vinnie to get over you when I thought I lost you forever to Max. I didn't even wear makeup until I met him...that's how destroyed I was when they took you away. I kept up my appearance even when I found out about that shitty Christopher and after I thought Vinnie was a deadbeat dad. That should tell you something big. I'm throwing up a lot right now and I just know you'd be holding my hair back from my face if you were here._

 _Always yours,_

 _Lorna_

"Wow, this is incredible...you really mean it?"

"Yes. My feelings are genuine. Why else do you think I named my baby after you? I wanted a reminder of you."

The two women end up making out on the couch, and a few days after Lorna has gotten a divorce from Vinnie, they set a wedding date. They're so relieved that he won't take little Nicky from Lorna, since he doesn't see her as a threat to their daughter. The toddler is the flower girl, of course.

 _After all the stops and starts_  
 _We keep comin' back to these two hearts_  
 _Two angels who've been rescued from the fall_  
 _After all that we've been through_  
 _It all comes down to me and you_  
 _I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all_

Their loved ones attend the ceremony, and to nobody's surprise, Vinnie doesn't show up. It doesn't bother Nicky nor Lorna in the slightest. Their first dance, their exchanging of vows and "I do's", and their honeymoon to Bora Bora, make it all clear that the couple is truly destined to be two halves of a whole for good.


End file.
